Why I left Atheism

Caution, the following may seem a little disorganized. It was written in a state of flow, and not thought out and organized beforehand (I hate writing like that, blah). 

It is in my opinion that atheists are wrong in their certainty of an unknown. I used to be an atheist, but I found the position ironically requires faith to maintain (and a belief in an all-knowing, all-aware self). It's without question that this universe is a complex thing, and to make matters worse the ability to be aware of the self is another one of those big unknowns. It's a shame that atheists close themselves off to certain spiritual experiences. It's fairly easy to experience the presence with an open heart (love being what opens it). The reason I consider myself to be an 'agnostic' is because I am ignorant of the underlying source of it. Of course I have no way of knowing that such a thing is capable of creating a universe and/or able listen to and answer prayers. But I definitely see how the "higher power" can be a source of strength for people, regardless of what it is. Without a doubt it does exist on some level (even if it is only in the mind). So yeah, atheism is not a good position to take. I find that most atheists (especially the outspoken ones) are those that have felt pain as a result of religion (obviously not from God, which is not a painful experience). It's easy to attack religion (which I have done a lot of in the past), but when it comes to God, it's one of those things that need to be experienced. It's outside of our external senses, so we have a tough time describing it. In fact, the only word that comes even close to describing it is 'love'. Many people in today's society are afraid of love, and this is why they have trouble with relationships in general, it is why the rate of depression and other mental disorders are on the rise (depression is a spiritual illness because its source is the core of our being in the same way that love is). The word 'love' has been labeled as being cliche and corny in society, and we wonder why society is suffering today.

1 John 4:8 is a bible verse that, I believe, gets at the heart of all of this.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love"


If God is love, then it's hard to deny that God cannot be experienced. So essentially atheists don't believe love exists. 

Thoughts cause Anxiety (and can help relieve it)

People that have anxiety issues typically have constant brain chatter that is so pervasive that it eventually becomes ignored.

slightly off-topic:
This doesn't have anything to do with the anxiety per se, but when a person is exposed to a stimuli enough, the brain stops to consciously recognize it. 

But just because a suffer of anxiety isn't aware of a worrying thought/s, doesn't stop the thought's influence over a person. As a person who had serious anxiety in the past (and mild anxiety today), one of my best tips is to merely bring awareness to the thought-process. The majority of the time, the thoughts that stress us out are irrational, but they can torment a person that ignores them. Never ignore a worrying thought, instead try to see the big picture, put it into perspective, think about the worry out-loud (forces the idea to be subject to higher reasoning). Going back to the thesis of this blog post, it is the worries that are repeated over and over again that allow anxiety to build up and stick around in a person's life (like constantly scratching at a scap, it is made worse and worse overtime). The important thing to do....

By the way, I tend to write as the thoughts flow out of me, so this post might be a bit rambley

..is to, when you notice negative thoughts come in, replace them with positive thoughts. This will help balance the worldview. It's not a bad thing to have negative thoughts, but just be balanced. Consciously try to think of positive thoughts and at least be 50/50 (I prefer to be 20/80 with negative to positive thoughts, respectively). In other words, when you notice negative thoughts, go through a cognitive exercise of forcing yourself to think of positive things (can be anything optimistic).  

Talking to God vs. Talking to Yourself.

I'll admit it, I talk to myself all the time. Sometimes I even talk to the internet (which is what blogging is, and people are allowed to watch). But why is it so weird for people to talk to a "higher power"? During my more close-minded days, I used to make fun of people that would pray to God. Regardless if God exists or not (I have no way of knowing if such a being exists), is it any less rational to talk to yourself as oppose to what many atheists refer to as an "imaginary friend"? When you talk to yourself, you're really talking to an imaginary self. Sometimes we just need someone to talk with. It's not like anyone can be totally free of delusion anyways. Nearly everyone's (other than maybe some Buddhists monks) perceptions have inaccuracies, but there's such a thing as "useful delusions". At the end of the day being happy is what's important, and if praying to God or talking to yourself helps fulfill a psychological need, I say go for it. 

The Benefit of Mitt Romney's "Prank" on Gay Kids

Mitt Romney cut a gay kid's (who was closeted at the time) hair in high school (physically held him down and cut his bangs). Mittens knew that the kid could have gotten a lazy eye. The man has a  heart of gold (maybe platinum?)  

Update - Final Exam Today

I have a final exam in the Caring for America course that I'm taking. It's all about dementia and old people doing weird shit (like the behavior of carrying around fecal matter because they don't know what it is). Courses like this are disturbing to take because eventually we will all reach that point (unless we die before our time). I just can't imagine living each moment around stranger family members and not being able to contextualize anything. It would be like being drunk 24-7. 

Update: I hate studying for finals...

I read 300 pages yesterday, and have to read about 200 pages today and write 6 pages (typed) for assignments due. It's ridiculous that these professors have work due on finals week. I made sure to give them all terrible reviews on our last class (last week). 

Anti-Liberal (Yahoo News) Comment that I enjoyed.

"You know you’re a Liberal if you believe free speech of anything vulgar or sexual is fine. However free speech of anything related to God is not."


Thought I would put this up here. I think it's so true of liberal idiots. The double standard that liberals have in what should be allowed as "free speech" and what shouldn't is so obvious. Anyone should be free to express religious views (even politicians).