#1 flowing thoughts - contemplating breaking up.

I enjoy sometimes talking to myself, but typing to the internet is nice too. Anyways, this is what's bugging me today: My girlfriend's guy friend.

Why is it that women are not able to understand the concept of not having close relationships with other men while they are in a relationship? If the guy wasn't a complete d-bag, then it would be a little more tolerable. But when the guy is talking crap about me, and she doesn't even defend me, it gets annoying. He's also a complete perv with her—in the way he talks and "jokes" with her.

I'm thinking about breaking up with this girl. I just don't have the "fire" anymore. The issue with her is that I thought she was a good, conservative girl. But finding out that she has this sort of friend, and that little amount of loyalty for me, my image of her has certainly changed. I fell in love with a delusion, sadly. But now I'm stuck with the emotional attachment to that delusion. The real person is not the person I thought she was.

My strategy I'm employing now is to de-attach myself to this girl by thinking thoughts like "I don't care about her"..."she isn't important to me", etc. I want to reach the point where I don't care about her at all, then I will leave. I figure, she hurt me by putting on a facade and turning out to be a totally different person, so dragging her along while I separate myself emotionally is the best route.

I realize that she wasn't the problem, but my emotional attachment to her was. If I wasn't emotionally attached, then she wouldn't be able to stress me out (her and her friends). The lesson I learned is that the best thing to do in a relationship is to realize its purpose and don't get emotionally attached (the purpose being for the pragmatic utility).

I'm going to work hard in the future to avoid getting attached to people. This is me shooting from the hip, using Buddhist bullets. Buddhism teaches that emotional attachments cause pain and delusion. The delusion relationships cause is that they magnify importance of individuals, warp thinking, and ultimately lead to unwholesomeness. Never fall in love. 

Will Atheism Survive?

Recently there has been an rise in atheism. The main reason, in my opinion, is a combination of alternatives, Christianity being behind-the-times, and the liberal media. While I don't believe atheism is a bad thing, it is something that isn't right for everyone. I used to be an atheist, but still maintained many of the moral views I learned as a Christian. Now I consider myself to be a deist—I don't believe God interferes directly, but that a source of conscious intelligent underlies the universe's creation.

Going back to the main point—will atheism survive. I believe the answer is no. This is because of the fact that Christianity can and will evolve to better suit the modern lifestyle. In other words, a Christianity that can deal with new technologies and scientific understandings. Atheism exists because many people don't see Christianity as having all the answers so-to-speak. Christianity will evolve, and atheism will get squashed (irony). 

Why Bullies Bully

Bullying is a learned behavior. The concept that underlies bullying is "if you don't like someone, attacking them physically or psychological is the way to correct it". Bullying is a hateful act, and it requires a hateful child (at heart) to engage in it. I strongly believe that if a child (or adult) loves themselves and feels loved by others, then they do not feel the urge to attack others. Not only is bullying an attempt to assert dominance over others, but it's also a vent for suppressed frustration.

I believe the biggest cause for bullying behavior is the parents themselves. When a parent attacks their children verbally or physically, they are teaching their children that if they don't like a certain behavior in others, they are to act aggressively towards them. This is why I think it's a terrible thing to yell at or around children and obviously to attack them physically. Prisons are filled with people that had well-intentioned parents who didn't know parenting-skills any better than rocket building skills.

If your child bullies, then you not only need to have a calm, intelligent (as possible) conversation with the child (centered around empathy for others), but you also need to have a look in the mirror at what you did wrong; examples of failed parenting falls into areas like your children's television consumption, your reaction to their troublesome behavior, what you teach them regarding other people (realize that they learn by overhearing conversations). It's also important for a parent to be an open source for children to discuss problems with. It's important to never downplay their problems or denigrate them—this will teach them to not be open to you.

I Was Bullied

Much of my school experience involved bullying on a regular basis (as the victim). To be honest, because of bullies, my view of humanity and myself became cynical in general. Even my own father bullied me (but that's another topic). Even in elementary school I was bullied for being short and having a "different" last name.

Due to the bullying, I became shy and more and more introverted. I remember a time—during elementary school—when I would get into fights (more defending than anything). I never lost a fight, but it certainly didn't feel good to have physical attacks coming at me.

The worst physical act of intimidation was when this kid who was 1-2 years older than me and a lot bigger pulled out a knife and said he would slit my throat". My reaction was to go to the bus driver (where it occurred) and tell him about it.

I have many stories and theories about why bullies bully. I want to do a decent amount of blogging on the subject. If you want to read my content, click on the 'bullying' label at the bottom of this post. 

My Perception of Obama and the Racist Election

I voted for Obama. That said, my views have changed dramatically since then. During the 2008 election period, I was a fundemental atheist--not only was very rigid in my belief that there was no God, but I also wanted everyone around me. In other words, my main concern was anti-religion, so I favored the most secular candidate--Obama.

While my political interest was narrow (anti-religion), some people's motivation for voting for Obama or again were even more narrow--based on race. In my opinion, the people that voted for Obama because he was black African American are as guilty of racism as the people who didn't vote for him because he was black. Let me explain. Those that voted for McCain because of race perceived McCain as being "higher" than Obama. Is it any better if someone votes for Obama because his race makes him a more favorable candidate (regardless of their reason--first black president, etc.)? Racism is not a one way street. The sad thing is that in America, hatred towards white people is not as sensitive as hatred towards blacks African Americans.

[Side Note] - I actually dislike writing a blog that labels people as being a particular race--creating such ideas forces people to perceive race and in-group/out-group mentalities. 

When you vote, never vote based on the candidates race. Either way, you are being racist in the process.

Getting back to Obama. He failed when it came to fulfilling campaign promises. The reality is that he did very little and the country is still in sad shape on many fronts. As a college student, the unemployment rate and student loan issues scare me to death. Now that I'm no longer an atheist, my focus is on other  fronts politically--making me a independent-conservative leaning person. Obama has went a little too far on his attack on religion. I believe religion is important for most people. I know this is a major shift away from atheism, but what I found was that most people are not well behaved if they didn't have a controlling belief system. For example, even as an atheist I was against abortion (which is the opposite of what most atheists believe). In short, I didn't like how atheism belittle human experience and existence.

Obama supporting the pro-choice people is an immoral stance. It's clear that, from a conservative perspective, Obama is not morally knowledgeable in areas like respecting personal property, value of human life, going to war without congressional approval, and the list goes on. Also, given Obama's resume, he is not an authority on economic issues. It's far from controversial to claim that the economy is the biggest problem we face as a country, and I'm just not seeing Obama do the right things in that area.

The average voter knows very little about the issues. In fact, even at the time I voted for Obama, I wasn't that well informed. I believe a good idea would be to make voters take an exam to access knowledgeably about the issues; and if they fail the exam, their vote doesn't count. A Democracy will not work with an uninformed public, forced exams would make people study-up before voting. 

Going to blog all the time...

I was thinking, why don't I blog more often? Is it because I lack of ideas?...No, I have plenty of ideas. I think the problem with me is that I'm not so sure readers will be interested in reading my ideas. Right now I'm drunk...you know, listening to tunes and pissing vinegar, same old boring nothingness. Anyways, I'm going to make this blog be a non-stop rant about randomness. Here we go....

I hate rats....

I saw this rat running around in my room. I tried to kill it, but I kept missing with the walking stick I had. I ended up getting my dog to try to sniff it out (she's gotten rats before), but nothing. I seriously hate rats, terrible creatures...