Why Bullies Bully

Bullying is a learned behavior. The concept that underlies bullying is "if you don't like someone, attacking them physically or psychological is the way to correct it". Bullying is a hateful act, and it requires a hateful child (at heart) to engage in it. I strongly believe that if a child (or adult) loves themselves and feels loved by others, then they do not feel the urge to attack others. Not only is bullying an attempt to assert dominance over others, but it's also a vent for suppressed frustration.

I believe the biggest cause for bullying behavior is the parents themselves. When a parent attacks their children verbally or physically, they are teaching their children that if they don't like a certain behavior in others, they are to act aggressively towards them. This is why I think it's a terrible thing to yell at or around children and obviously to attack them physically. Prisons are filled with people that had well-intentioned parents who didn't know parenting-skills any better than rocket building skills.

If your child bullies, then you not only need to have a calm, intelligent (as possible) conversation with the child (centered around empathy for others), but you also need to have a look in the mirror at what you did wrong; examples of failed parenting falls into areas like your children's television consumption, your reaction to their troublesome behavior, what you teach them regarding other people (realize that they learn by overhearing conversations). It's also important for a parent to be an open source for children to discuss problems with. It's important to never downplay their problems or denigrate them—this will teach them to not be open to you.

I Was Bullied

Much of my school experience involved bullying on a regular basis (as the victim). To be honest, because of bullies, my view of humanity and myself became cynical in general. Even my own father bullied me (but that's another topic). Even in elementary school I was bullied for being short and having a "different" last name.

Due to the bullying, I became shy and more and more introverted. I remember a time—during elementary school—when I would get into fights (more defending than anything). I never lost a fight, but it certainly didn't feel good to have physical attacks coming at me.

The worst physical act of intimidation was when this kid who was 1-2 years older than me and a lot bigger pulled out a knife and said he would slit my throat". My reaction was to go to the bus driver (where it occurred) and tell him about it.

I have many stories and theories about why bullies bully. I want to do a decent amount of blogging on the subject. If you want to read my content, click on the 'bullying' label at the bottom of this post.