distortions in cognition can be brought about if the imagination is not properly seperated from exerpeinced reality...i need to seperate imagination from reality...it is very pervasive
Monday, October 31, 2011
Mindfulness should not be viewed as a skill to master
I claim that mindfulness should not be viewed as a skill to master. The reasoning behind this is simple: if we view it as a skill, autopilot tries to take over for the sake of efficiency. Also this sort of thinking is distracting, because it creates worrying ("am I getting better at being mindful?"). The point here is that it does not matter where mindfulness can take you in the "future", but where mindfulness can take you right now.
Randomness: It's good to view thoughts as they are, the alternative is to allow them to control you. If we view thoughts as they are, we naturally become aware of the distortion of reality that is occurring in our own brains. All thoughts are false in some way (none of us can time travel and/or view events outside of the senses, a thought is cognition based on understood patterns made available by the senses...not superpowers!).
Randomness: It's good to view thoughts as they are, the alternative is to allow them to control you. If we view thoughts as they are, we naturally become aware of the distortion of reality that is occurring in our own brains. All thoughts are false in some way (none of us can time travel and/or view events outside of the senses, a thought is cognition based on understood patterns made available by the senses...not superpowers!).
The type of music you listen to matters!
Feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but the type of music you listen to does matter. Like the types of thoughts we make a habit of thinking, the type of music we make a habit of listening to has an incredible impact on our well-being in the long run. The question is how music influences our emotional well-being (the kind and level of influence). The reality is that people don't like music, but the way music makes them feel. Harm is done to the self if music is used to create anger and/or aggressive emotions (such as rap, metal, and rock music). Whatever emotional states we nurture, the greater they will permeate the soul. Music is big because of the way it alters our emotional state, so keep all of this in mind when listening to your "favorite" music. I suggest listening to relaxing music with inspiring lyrics.
Daily blog: 10/31/11 - Happy Halloween
Updated - 8:49 AM
Just busy studying sociology so far today. Had a fairly busy weekend with a weak internet connection, so I wasn't able to blog about it. I'll do some blogging about it later on.
Updated - 6:26 PM
Went on a walk at around 11 AM, then took a bath with some chamomile tea (so relaxing). Then I got a ride back to the college, did some studying (topic was abortion), and then I went to french class. It was funny because we were suppose to be making questions, but the question this one girl made (unintentionally) was something not "PG-13" according to the teacher. I think it was something like "have you ever made love?".
After french class I got a wrap, and this girl thatnever rarely shows up to the "french speaking" class started talking with me, and she was like "how was french? I never go to those speaking classes", and I said "you know those count towards participation? right?"... It was a tad awkward, but what a dolt. Now I'm back in my dorm and about to do some more reading about the ethics surrounding abortion, fun fun fun! :P
Just busy studying sociology so far today. Had a fairly busy weekend with a weak internet connection, so I wasn't able to blog about it. I'll do some blogging about it later on.
Updated - 6:26 PM
Went on a walk at around 11 AM, then took a bath with some chamomile tea (so relaxing). Then I got a ride back to the college, did some studying (topic was abortion), and then I went to french class. It was funny because we were suppose to be making questions, but the question this one girl made (unintentionally) was something not "PG-13" according to the teacher. I think it was something like "have you ever made love?".
After french class I got a wrap, and this girl that
Godless Evil Atheist Blog - 10/31/11 Happy Halloween!
Updated - 8:01 AM
Just woke up, going to be a busy day filled with studying. So today's Halloween, being that I'm slightly toofat big to pass as a kid, no trick-or-treating for me. This holiday is great for atheists, we get to dress up like the demons we are and terrorize the believers (what could be better than that?).
Before I get to studying, I think I should take my dog on a walk...maybe that will help wake me up.
Just woke up, going to be a busy day filled with studying. So today's Halloween, being that I'm slightly too
Before I get to studying, I think I should take my dog on a walk...maybe that will help wake me up.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Godless Evil Atheist Blog - 10/28/11
Updated - 7:51 AM
Starting an atheist daily blog thing starting...now! Not much has happened so far today, just studying for this french test I have coming up in about an hour (yikes). Oh, that reminds me (for no reason at all), I read this dumb-ass comment on Yahoo News, the guy was like: "liberal = living off the workers, conservative = law-abiding tax payer". While I think some liberals have wacky opinions, they are no where near as deluded as some of these conservatives. I mean seriously, all liberals are law-breaking mooches that don't pay taxes or work? So many conservatives, if they actually believe their own bullshit, should seriously qualify as having a mental illness (that kind of distortion of reality can't be healthy/normal). How do these people dress themselves in the morning?
Updated - 10:07 AM
Just got back, the test was really easy, I expect a 90+. I do however think most of the kids did poorly on it...more grade curving for me :)
Now I'm just going to work on some blogs and relax. I have this huge test coming up ("huge" in that it is about 30% of my final grade) next Wednesday in sociology, and it's going to require tons of reading (around 150 or so pages of academic nonsense). I got about a 3.1 on the last test, I'm hoping to get a 4.0 on this next one to give me a boost.
Tip - If you are studying or about to take a test, coffee is your best friend (or it should be).
Starting an atheist daily blog thing starting...now! Not much has happened so far today, just studying for this french test I have coming up in about an hour (yikes). Oh, that reminds me (for no reason at all), I read this dumb-ass comment on Yahoo News, the guy was like: "liberal = living off the workers, conservative = law-abiding tax payer". While I think some liberals have wacky opinions, they are no where near as deluded as some of these conservatives. I mean seriously, all liberals are law-breaking mooches that don't pay taxes or work? So many conservatives, if they actually believe their own bullshit, should seriously qualify as having a mental illness (that kind of distortion of reality can't be healthy/normal). How do these people dress themselves in the morning?
Updated - 10:07 AM
Just got back, the test was really easy, I expect a 90+. I do however think most of the kids did poorly on it...more grade curving for me :)
Now I'm just going to work on some blogs and relax. I have this huge test coming up ("huge" in that it is about 30% of my final grade) next Wednesday in sociology, and it's going to require tons of reading (around 150 or so pages of academic nonsense). I got about a 3.1 on the last test, I'm hoping to get a 4.0 on this next one to give me a boost.
Tip - If you are studying or about to take a test, coffee is your best friend (or it should be).
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Atheists would believe in God if....
Many people believe that atheists are just plain evil, and that is why they wont believe in God. But the reality is that the vast majority of atheists would become believers if this God were to leave behind some evidence.
Not to ramble, but it seems that God (if He did exist) doesn't want people to be aware of His existence. I say that because if He truly wanted people to believe He existed, he would show himself by simply not being as invisible as a non-existent unicorn.
For example, a big sticker on the dark side of the moon saying "Made in China, by God" would go a long ways (it definitely wouldn't hurt His cause). Or maybe actually striking down some evil people. I mean, if gluttony is a sin, why are there so many fast food restaurants? If God hates greed, why are the richest of the rich getting so much richer while the middle and lower class go down? Or what about all the children (who aren't old enough to be evil) here that are starving or subject to physical/mental abuse? Many Christians say: "God helps those who help themselves"...but what exactly do Christians believe this god does? If it's His job to run the universe, and humans are at the center of it all...what a piss-poor job. F
With all the suffering in the world, it's easy as hell (pun intended) to be an atheist.
Not to ramble, but it seems that God (if He did exist) doesn't want people to be aware of His existence. I say that because if He truly wanted people to believe He existed, he would show himself by simply not being as invisible as a non-existent unicorn.
For example, a big sticker on the dark side of the moon saying "Made in China, by God" would go a long ways (it definitely wouldn't hurt His cause). Or maybe actually striking down some evil people. I mean, if gluttony is a sin, why are there so many fast food restaurants? If God hates greed, why are the richest of the rich getting so much richer while the middle and lower class go down? Or what about all the children (who aren't old enough to be evil) here that are starving or subject to physical/mental abuse? Many Christians say: "God helps those who help themselves"...but what exactly do Christians believe this god does? If it's His job to run the universe, and humans are at the center of it all...what a piss-poor job. F
With all the suffering in the world, it's easy as hell (pun intended) to be an atheist.
Is Obama an atheist?
Many people don't know this, but Obama wasn't a Christian until he was an adult and wanting to go into politics. As many if not all of us should know, being an out-of-the-closet atheist is political suicide. But, in the video above, he bashes religion in the same way an atheist would. And while Obama is unpopular, it's hard to argue that he isn't intelligent and higher on the rational scale than the vast majority of people. On one hand I wish Obama would just come out (under the assumption that he is an atheist), but I'm afraid if he does, a Republican like Rick Perry or Michelle Bachmann (so stupid how her last name has 2 n's...what I waste of space) would win. There is a lot about Obama's policies that I'm not a fan of (his spending is much too high), but he will probably be the lesser of the evils come election time. I kind of want Ron Paul to win (not because I totally agree with him, but he would surely be pushing for spending cuts [like in the military]). Anyways, until I see a hidden camera video of Obama praying in private, I'll assume he is an atheist. What would be neat is if Obama admits he is an atheist after he is doing his term(s), then he would be the first open-atheist president in the longest time (Lincoln was an atheist).
Anyways, I'm rambling. What do you think? Is Obama an atheist? (leave a comment).
Anyways, I'm rambling. What do you think? Is Obama an atheist? (leave a comment).
Daily blog: 10/27/11
Update - 8:16 AM
Was woken up at about 5 AM to my dry erase board (it's fairly big) falling off my wall, would think the double-sided tape would be strong enough...it's not that heavy (but I guess I wouldn't expect any more from Walmart). I eventually fell back asleep, and it stinks because I was in the middle of a dream (that I no longer remember). I have slight problems with insomnia, but I found that doing a progressive muscle relaxation (where you focus on each limb and consciously relax it) helps a great deal with falling asleep for me.
It's kind of like a hypnosis in which I would tell myself "everywhere my awareness touches will relax". It's strange how much tension I (and probably "we") build up that goes unnoticed--no wonder I'm tired all the time. I notice that awareness in general (even of thoughts) tends to relax whatever it touches automatically (without the affirmation).
That's about it for now, thanks for reading :)
Update - 3:51 PM
Nothing all that exciting happened so far today. I was going to go to this event about race (need to go to at least one event for a class), but I really don't have the time (yes, I know, I have time to blog...but this is like 3+ hours). Bio class was funny. The teacher was talking about how you can find anything in the internet, and then he pointed out this kid that was sleeping in front of a computer (both his arms holding up his head like he was awake...the teacher said "you guys surf the internet right? like that kid in the back was doing before he fell asleep". It must have been so embarrassing for him when he woke up. Then right after, we are talking about eugenics, and the teacher asked "so what kind of people would we sterilize?" and this girl yelled "black people!"...and this black girl in front of me had the *what the hell?* look while shaking her head. Well, that's about it for now, going to do some studying for the french test tomorrow.
Update - 11:10 PM
Nothing all that exciting happened, just did a lot of studying french. Oh, and I drank way too much coffee and black tea (feeling sick off all the caffiene, yuck!). After studying french, I started to think about how the way I think influences so many different things.
I find that, when I think like a Buddhist (so-to-speak), I am mindful and accepting; when I think like an insecure person, my anxiety gets bad; when I think like a confident person, I feel confident. Obviously this all seems obvious, but perhaps we all have habits in the way we think which causes us to feel things we don't want to feel (like insecurities, stress, depression, and so on). Just food for thought.
One thing I want to do more of is think like a person of confidence and acceptance (it appears I have the bad habit of thinking like a person with low self-confidence and a high level of insecurity [certain situations cause a lot of brain-chatter for me]). In my opinion, anxiety (and other emotional issues) isn't so much of a mental disorder as it is a bad cognitive habit.
Was woken up at about 5 AM to my dry erase board (it's fairly big) falling off my wall, would think the double-sided tape would be strong enough...it's not that heavy (but I guess I wouldn't expect any more from Walmart). I eventually fell back asleep, and it stinks because I was in the middle of a dream (that I no longer remember). I have slight problems with insomnia, but I found that doing a progressive muscle relaxation (where you focus on each limb and consciously relax it) helps a great deal with falling asleep for me.
It's kind of like a hypnosis in which I would tell myself "everywhere my awareness touches will relax". It's strange how much tension I (and probably "we") build up that goes unnoticed--no wonder I'm tired all the time. I notice that awareness in general (even of thoughts) tends to relax whatever it touches automatically (without the affirmation).
That's about it for now, thanks for reading :)
Update - 3:51 PM
Nothing all that exciting happened so far today. I was going to go to this event about race (need to go to at least one event for a class), but I really don't have the time (yes, I know, I have time to blog...but this is like 3+ hours). Bio class was funny. The teacher was talking about how you can find anything in the internet, and then he pointed out this kid that was sleeping in front of a computer (both his arms holding up his head like he was awake...the teacher said "you guys surf the internet right? like that kid in the back was doing before he fell asleep". It must have been so embarrassing for him when he woke up. Then right after, we are talking about eugenics, and the teacher asked "so what kind of people would we sterilize?" and this girl yelled "black people!"...and this black girl in front of me had the *what the hell?* look while shaking her head. Well, that's about it for now, going to do some studying for the french test tomorrow.
Update - 11:10 PM
Nothing all that exciting happened, just did a lot of studying french. Oh, and I drank way too much coffee and black tea (feeling sick off all the caffiene, yuck!). After studying french, I started to think about how the way I think influences so many different things.
I find that, when I think like a Buddhist (so-to-speak), I am mindful and accepting; when I think like an insecure person, my anxiety gets bad; when I think like a confident person, I feel confident. Obviously this all seems obvious, but perhaps we all have habits in the way we think which causes us to feel things we don't want to feel (like insecurities, stress, depression, and so on). Just food for thought.
One thing I want to do more of is think like a person of confidence and acceptance (it appears I have the bad habit of thinking like a person with low self-confidence and a high level of insecurity [certain situations cause a lot of brain-chatter for me]). In my opinion, anxiety (and other emotional issues) isn't so much of a mental disorder as it is a bad cognitive habit.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Vegetarians and mental disorder.
While nearly every vegetarian on earth will disagree (they like doing that), I see many similarities between them and paranoid people. Many (if not most) vegetarians like the taste of meat. That is why there are so many meat-imitation products out there. No, it is the THOUGHT of meat that bothers most vegetarians. When a person refuses the fly on a plane because of the bothersome thoughts, we send them to a therapist. Just sayin'
Vegetarians that refuse to eat meat only because of the thoughts associated with meat are paranoid (at least in my opinion). There is a big difference between eating meat and killing an animal (most vegetarians can't distinguish between the two, further revealing their cognitive distortions). While meat was at one point a living animal, it is no longer. The same could be said of any animal that decomposes into soil to be later taken up by a plant (but of course that rarely happens.../sarcasm).
Animal life needs to be killed to drive to the store for example (many many insects die, along with the occasional bird or mammal..). Yes vegetarians, MANY animals die to sustain your diet: Animals die when pesticides are sprayed onto plants == when the machines harvest the plants == when the trucks ship the plants to the stores == when you go to pick them up at the store.
If every life is so precious, why aren't vegetarians worried about the lives of insects? Because they're not cute and/or furry? The reality is: for us to eat, shit needs to die...the food might as well taste good. Vegetarians seem paranoid about food, which fortunately leaves more meat for people like me. mmm...
Vegetarians that refuse to eat meat only because of the thoughts associated with meat are paranoid (at least in my opinion). There is a big difference between eating meat and killing an animal (most vegetarians can't distinguish between the two, further revealing their cognitive distortions). While meat was at one point a living animal, it is no longer. The same could be said of any animal that decomposes into soil to be later taken up by a plant (but of course that rarely happens.../sarcasm).
Animal life needs to be killed to drive to the store for example (many many insects die, along with the occasional bird or mammal..). Yes vegetarians, MANY animals die to sustain your diet: Animals die when pesticides are sprayed onto plants == when the machines harvest the plants == when the trucks ship the plants to the stores == when you go to pick them up at the store.
If every life is so precious, why aren't vegetarians worried about the lives of insects? Because they're not cute and/or furry? The reality is: for us to eat, shit needs to die...the food might as well taste good. Vegetarians seem paranoid about food, which fortunately leaves more meat for people like me. mmm...
Stupid sayings: "God helps those who help themselves"
hmm, now why would an atheist think this quote is stupid? .....Besides the fact that there is no God, if a person helps themselves, then how exactly is God helping? Also, if God created everything, then he created all problems, so how is He removing something that He created considered to be "helping"? Shouldn't the quote be: "God isn't going to help you, so don't even bother asking". It's like me punching someone in the face and giving them a piece of cotton to shove up their bloodied nose and saying "I helped you, I demand your praise,....follow my son.....I'll send you to hell if you don't...blah blah."
Believable Day-Terrors
Day terrors occur when we are partially asleep (i.e. not mindful or awake). While it's hard to be fully awake, even when practicing meditation and mindfulness techniques. This is because most of us have become so used to not being totally awake (being lost in thoughts, which are really just dreams that occur while being partially awake). And sadly, this sort of habit leaves us vulnerable to stress and causes a weakening of our ability to be aware (i.e. mindful, awake, and so on).
The scariest of day-terrors are those that we find to be the most believable. Just about any day-terror has an emotional effect, but for the moments that we truly believe the day-terror is really happening, it has an effect nearly as powerful as if it were. Such as if we are worrying about something we plan on doing in the future, and some scenario pops up with some problem(s). The fact that we find it incredibly believable that this event will happen (it being based on a real-life plan), this is why it can cause an incredible amount of stress. I believe this habit is learned by-the-way, but that is a different subject all-together. In short, a day-terror (or "worrying thought") is much more emotionally disturbing if we believe it is real, and the closer of an association with reality the day-terror has, the more "real" it will seem. Whenever you worry about the future, this is a day-terror (it's not real, reality is what's occurring in the present moment as you experience via the senses, anything else is just a thought).
Be mindful.
The scariest of day-terrors are those that we find to be the most believable. Just about any day-terror has an emotional effect, but for the moments that we truly believe the day-terror is really happening, it has an effect nearly as powerful as if it were. Such as if we are worrying about something we plan on doing in the future, and some scenario pops up with some problem(s). The fact that we find it incredibly believable that this event will happen (it being based on a real-life plan), this is why it can cause an incredible amount of stress. I believe this habit is learned by-the-way, but that is a different subject all-together. In short, a day-terror (or "worrying thought") is much more emotionally disturbing if we believe it is real, and the closer of an association with reality the day-terror has, the more "real" it will seem. Whenever you worry about the future, this is a day-terror (it's not real, reality is what's occurring in the present moment as you experience via the senses, anything else is just a thought).
Be mindful.
Daily blog: 10/26/11
Update - 4:49 PM
Late start to today's blog, probably because not much happened today (so far at least). Had french class this morning, then ate some pizza from the dining hall in my dorm. Spent the rest of my time watching the first 4 episodes of The Office (weird not having Steve Carrel as the boss....but Andy is doing fine) and then doing some studying for sociology and french. I have an advising appointment soon (about an hour) for the registration for next year. Really hoping the right classes are available next semester (haven't had a chance to look at the list).
Oh, I'm going to try a new experiment. As some of you might know, I have certain issues dealing with anxiety/stress (had difficulties as long as I can remember, so it's fairly ingrained, but it is getting better overtime). I read a while ago that yawning can reduce stress/anxiety, and I started messing around with it a few days ago again (last time I did it a lot I did notice some positive effects). The experiment will be 100 forced yawns per day for like a week or so. I did about 40 so far (just started counting on the last 8).
Update - 10:10 PM
My advising appointment went well. Seems that I will have my BA in sociology after two more semesters (the scheduling will be very tight though). Apparently we're going to have another big test (about 1/4 of the grade) next Wednesday, I need to read like 150 pages of academic nonsense before then. I'm hoping that no other tests pop up during that time frame (expecting one during that week or the next). Anyways, this is boring as hell to anyone that isn't me, lol. Oh, yeah, when heading back from class I got some food first. That weird kid who was on my dorm building floor was right near me in line, so happy he didn't try to talk with me. I don't like to gossip (maybe I do a little...but who doesn't?), but if any readers are interested in why I think this kid is weird (I have some great stories) feel free to ask in the comment section.
Late start to today's blog, probably because not much happened today (so far at least). Had french class this morning, then ate some pizza from the dining hall in my dorm. Spent the rest of my time watching the first 4 episodes of The Office (weird not having Steve Carrel as the boss....but Andy is doing fine) and then doing some studying for sociology and french. I have an advising appointment soon (about an hour) for the registration for next year. Really hoping the right classes are available next semester (haven't had a chance to look at the list).
Oh, I'm going to try a new experiment. As some of you might know, I have certain issues dealing with anxiety/stress (had difficulties as long as I can remember, so it's fairly ingrained, but it is getting better overtime). I read a while ago that yawning can reduce stress/anxiety, and I started messing around with it a few days ago again (last time I did it a lot I did notice some positive effects). The experiment will be 100 forced yawns per day for like a week or so. I did about 40 so far (just started counting on the last 8).
Update - 10:10 PM
My advising appointment went well. Seems that I will have my BA in sociology after two more semesters (the scheduling will be very tight though). Apparently we're going to have another big test (about 1/4 of the grade) next Wednesday, I need to read like 150 pages of academic nonsense before then. I'm hoping that no other tests pop up during that time frame (expecting one during that week or the next). Anyways, this is boring as hell to anyone that isn't me, lol. Oh, yeah, when heading back from class I got some food first. That weird kid who was on my dorm building floor was right near me in line, so happy he didn't try to talk with me. I don't like to gossip (maybe I do a little...but who doesn't?), but if any readers are interested in why I think this kid is weird (I have some great stories) feel free to ask in the comment section.
Yawning is a great way to relieve stress
The title says it all. Now of course there is some science already underlying it (Google it), but give it a try. Force yourself to yawn several times in a row and notice the results first hand. For me, I also notice a release of endorphins when I yawn along with reduced mental fatigue (seems to give a feeling of euphoria and mental clarity). Anyways, I'm rambling.
Try yawning 20 times in a row, and leave a comment describing your experience.
Try yawning 20 times in a row, and leave a comment describing your experience.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Why do people like terrible things posted on Facebook?
I've noticed that whenever someone posts a terrible thing on Facebook (like a picture of a dead baby a mother threw into the water after giving birth to it) people "like" it. Are that many people really sadistic assholes or have they lost touch with the definition of the word "like"?
/end rant
How mindfulness leads to happiness.
While I'm sure everyone has their own opinion on what happiness is, I believe the word "happiness" is interchangeable with the word "contentment". It is a when there are no worries (acceptance of everything, typically being temporary). Many people think happiness is laughing or hugging a loved one, but the truth is that those are not what happiness is, but are activities that can momentarily remove nonacceptance of reality. I believe that an awareness of how things are automatically create a state of acceptance. We don't accept things when we believe they could be different, it is our imaginations that create the nonacceptance of reality. This is delusional of course. Things can't be different than they are in reality (i.e. in the present moment, the only moment that truly exists, outside of thought).
Mindfulness (awareness of the present moment) is the cure to the pervasive delusion in the world that things could be different than they are (which is at the root of unhappiness).
This isn't to say that people should never feel unhappy, but I believe it is important for people to be aware of the source of unhappiness in order to bring themselves out of it (when they desire to).
The way thoughts make us feel...
I believe people (myself included) believe everything they do because of the way the beliefs (i.e. thoughts) make them feel, not because of the information itself. This idea may not seem strange on the surface, but give it some thought--does it feel strange now? If such a thought for you is underwhelming in the way it makes you feel, it's not the thought itself that is underwhelming, but the lack of mutually shared "feelings" between us. Some people might argue against this idea by pointing to beliefs that create unpleasant feelings (why would people want to ever entertain thoughts that make them feel bad?). I would argue that such a phenomenon (or is it "phenomena"?) occurs because of a belief that not thinking that thought would leave open certain vulnerabilities (the feeling of fear is a powerful thing).
Anyways, I don't want this to be a long post. But try to meditate on this idea, it is an incredible awareness (a feeling I personally enjoy, which is why I enjoy mindfulness and the ideas that lead me to it).
Anyways, I don't want this to be a long post. But try to meditate on this idea, it is an incredible awareness (a feeling I personally enjoy, which is why I enjoy mindfulness and the ideas that lead me to it).
Believing ideas because they "feel good" and the skepticism underlying atheism
Sometimes we believe ideas because they make logical sense, sometimes we do because of the way the idea makes us feel. And yes, some atheists accept "atheistic ideas" only because it feels good (perhaps because of an underlying hatred towards religion, or an enjoyment for the way philosophical feels). I could rant all day long for why I believe religion is stupid, but that's not the point of this blog post. The reality is, we are beings of feeling. Everything we believe to exist is "felt" subjectively, and believers probably do "feel" something that atheists do not (and obviously their interpretations of what they feel is different as well). It's easy to bash the believers as being only concerned with "feeling good". But I realize that we should be careful to not make ourselves into hypocrites. Beyond a doubt outspoken atheists gain pleasure from arguing against religion for reasons such as...
-It feels good to win an argument
-Feeling "wrong" isn't pleasant (atheists, and people in general wont believe something if their emotions don't line up with it)
-Atheists with a hatred of religion will gain pleasure from venting.
-Logical thinking does feel good, there is a certain zen to it.
Just to name a few...
How often to we believe things solely due to the way it makes us feel? I believe that we never actually escape this. In short, an unfortunately, it seems that the way information makes us feel is more important than the information itself. Ideas that create the most powerful feelings are the ones we pay the most attention to.
To clarity: I'm arguing that logical thinking is generally preferred among atheists not because they are masters of the universe, but because they enjoy the way such thoughts make them feel...sort of like having a certain taste in music.
-It feels good to win an argument
-Feeling "wrong" isn't pleasant (atheists, and people in general wont believe something if their emotions don't line up with it)
-Atheists with a hatred of religion will gain pleasure from venting.
-Logical thinking does feel good, there is a certain zen to it.
Just to name a few...
How often to we believe things solely due to the way it makes us feel? I believe that we never actually escape this. In short, an unfortunately, it seems that the way information makes us feel is more important than the information itself. Ideas that create the most powerful feelings are the ones we pay the most attention to.
To clarity: I'm arguing that logical thinking is generally preferred among atheists not because they are masters of the universe, but because they enjoy the way such thoughts make them feel...sort of like having a certain taste in music.
Scanning Mindfulness Technique.
One mindfulness technique that I really enjoy is with "scanning". With this technique you
Mindfulness and lucid dreaming
One thing I notice quite often after practicing mindfulness over a long period of time (like when I go into the woods for the better part of a day) is the frequency of lucid dreaming increases astronomically. Such as last night, I was dreaming that I was standing in a street in a cartoonish-like city, and I instantly knew it was a dream. In fact, I remember having an awareness that it was a dream before the scene was created. One trouble I'm having with lucid dreaming however is that I struggle to control the content. I wonder if other people that practice mindfulness experience a similar thing, I also wonder if this is a good or bad thing. Another strange thing about this dream (and others) is that I still have my sense of self (I understand the dream is a process in my head, and I can create an awareness of my actual body) and memories of reality.
Daily blog: 10/25/11
Not much of a "daily blog" (haha). Had a busy last few days coupled with bad not-as-good-as-it-could-be internet. I spent much of the past weekend working on a research paper due today. Just finished most of it up, I have to also give a presentation on it today--yuck! Anyways, I also was able to visit my father again this weekend, and rode the 4-wheeler around. He was kind of in a bad mood (which is typical for him). He all-but demanded I drive my sister's over to his place for their court-mandated weekly visit (long story). I find that when he is having his man-period it's much easier just to say nothing or agree completely with him.
Last night I drank way to much coffee, and I had to exercise a lot just to be able to get to sleep. I feel that "caffeine hangover" a little bit now--not a fun feeling at all, and to make it worse, it's so much more difficult to do meditation and mindfulness (feel spacey). I have class in about 40 minutes, then after that I need to go to the library to fix spelling mistakes and print out this paper--hopefully I have enough time to create an outline for the presentation. Oh, that reminds me, there was this weird sign on the bathroom door (I live in a dorm) that said there would be a floor meeting today at 7 to address "problems on the floor" (I hope it's about that annoying kid that blasts rap music with his door open).
Updated - 11:52 AM
Finished up my paper at the library about an hour ago. I then went to the dining place and picked up a chicken thing with bacon and a Greek Yogurt (collecting them both use up my meal plan and as a gift to my mom...she loves them). In about 30 minutes I have that presentation in the woman inequality class (yikes). The email she sent us said that we just need to talk about the low-wage worker we had to interview, but I think I'm ready to talk about the book as well.
Random thought: I notice when I get nervous, my brain automatically tries to shift towards mindfulness. So nice when mindfulness becomes a habit, it's so easy to get into the habit of doing the opposite.
Updated - 8:10 PM
My presentation went well, but we got a test back today, and the result depressed the hell out of me. I some how missed a question (only three essay questions on the test) and I ended up with a 71 (there were some bonus points). So with one screw-up I lose an entire letter grade (from A to B) because the test counts as 1/3rd of the final grade. Really takes the wind out of my sail, which isn't good considering all the work I have coming up. Anyways, I just got back from a "mandetory" floor meeting which was a complete waste of time. All they talked about was how people need to stop urinating on the toilet seats and stop getting hair everywhere from shaving. It was funny because another thing that was mentioned was "people playing loud music and leaving their doors open" (the kid across the hall always does this, was funny to see the look on his face). Oh, and they also mentioned how girls shouldn't be using the men's bathroom (I don't say 'woman' because that isn't very womanly). Well, that's about it, I might do some studying tonight--have a big test in french coming up.
Last night I drank way to much coffee, and I had to exercise a lot just to be able to get to sleep. I feel that "caffeine hangover" a little bit now--not a fun feeling at all, and to make it worse, it's so much more difficult to do meditation and mindfulness (feel spacey). I have class in about 40 minutes, then after that I need to go to the library to fix spelling mistakes and print out this paper--hopefully I have enough time to create an outline for the presentation. Oh, that reminds me, there was this weird sign on the bathroom door (I live in a dorm) that said there would be a floor meeting today at 7 to address "problems on the floor" (I hope it's about that annoying kid that blasts rap music with his door open).
Updated - 11:52 AM
Finished up my paper at the library about an hour ago. I then went to the dining place and picked up a chicken thing with bacon and a Greek Yogurt (collecting them both use up my meal plan and as a gift to my mom...she loves them). In about 30 minutes I have that presentation in the woman inequality class (yikes). The email she sent us said that we just need to talk about the low-wage worker we had to interview, but I think I'm ready to talk about the book as well.
Random thought: I notice when I get nervous, my brain automatically tries to shift towards mindfulness. So nice when mindfulness becomes a habit, it's so easy to get into the habit of doing the opposite.
Updated - 8:10 PM
My presentation went well, but we got a test back today, and the result depressed the hell out of me. I some how missed a question (only three essay questions on the test) and I ended up with a 71 (there were some bonus points). So with one screw-up I lose an entire letter grade (from A to B) because the test counts as 1/3rd of the final grade. Really takes the wind out of my sail, which isn't good considering all the work I have coming up. Anyways, I just got back from a "mandetory" floor meeting which was a complete waste of time. All they talked about was how people need to stop urinating on the toilet seats and stop getting hair everywhere from shaving. It was funny because another thing that was mentioned was "people playing loud music and leaving their doors open" (the kid across the hall always does this, was funny to see the look on his face). Oh, and they also mentioned how girls shouldn't be using the men's bathroom (I don't say 'woman' because that isn't very womanly). Well, that's about it, I might do some studying tonight--have a big test in french coming up.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Gaddafi captured and killed!
I read an article on the BBC website that confirmed this rumor I heard about him (Gaddafi) being captured, click me for the story. Before I go any further, Yahoo News is saying that they cannot confirm this story because the rebels have him, not NATO.
Without going too much into the story (you can just read it yourself), he was shot in both legs (ouch). This is a great thing for the people of Libya. I've read/watched some terrible things about Gaddafi--like how he gave his men Viagra and told them to rape rebel woman, among many other terrible things. The world is shifting, and I think mostly due to technologies like the internet and cellphones. A well informed and educated world is much more rational, and leaders have a much harder time spreading propaganda that goes unchecked.
Without going too much into the story (you can just read it yourself), he was shot in both legs (ouch). This is a great thing for the people of Libya. I've read/watched some terrible things about Gaddafi--like how he gave his men Viagra and told them to rape rebel woman, among many other terrible things. The world is shifting, and I think mostly due to technologies like the internet and cellphones. A well informed and educated world is much more rational, and leaders have a much harder time spreading propaganda that goes unchecked.
Daily blog: 10/20/11
Updated - 8:00 AM
Felt good waking up this morning, took a shower. It's funny (probably only to me), one of the shower-heads is missing (it's just a metal tube causing the water comes out like a hose), but I used it anyways because the water pressure is better. Anyways..Today should be a busy day for me, need to get that paper/class presentation (it's all wrapped up into one) started today, and I also have about 4-5 hours of classes today (too lazy to count). I'mworried concerned about all the tests and papers coming up.
On a random note: When I got back from taking a shower I read up on the news (yes, in my bathrobe), and apparently this elementary school gave these kids pornographic prizes (unknowingly). Supposedly there were some naked woman underneath some bracelets they were giving out (it was in Florida). Anyways, if you're interesting in reading up more on this story click here for the link.
I have class in about an hour and 15 minutes, so I should do some studying (time is of the essence! *breaks down in tears*)
Updated - 10:50 AM
Just got back from class, and it's a nice rainy day :) Many people think of such days as depressing, but for me they are great because the air is so much fresher. Hoping I get my test back in the Woman Inequality in the Workplace class.
It was weird when I took this test (the midterm). About 5 minutes in, this older woman in the class stood up and walked out of the room crying. The next day she asked me how I (and a few of the other students there) did on the test. I said "I think it did okay on it" and she was like "good for you" (sarcastically). I actually believe I did very well on it, but I didn't want to rub it in her face.
Going to grab some food from the dining hall now and come back to my dorm to do some studying before class...
Update - 1:44 PM
Just got back from the woman's equality class. The teacher wasn't there today, so we watched this very grainy and overall just crappy video (sound and graphics wise) video about sexual harrasment at the workplace. Fairly uneventful, other than the fact that we got done very early, so I had tie to go back to my dorm to relax before Bio Ethics. It's very rainy out, so I got soaked while walking around. It's weird seeing all these kids wearing red scarfs around their heads and attacking each other with Nerf guns. They have been doing this for well over a week, and they are everywhere! Sometimes I see a group of 10 of them walking in my direction and a small part of me thinks they are going to start shooting at me...such a violent world we live in.
Felt good waking up this morning, took a shower. It's funny (probably only to me), one of the shower-heads is missing (it's just a metal tube causing the water comes out like a hose), but I used it anyways because the water pressure is better. Anyways..Today should be a busy day for me, need to get that paper/class presentation (it's all wrapped up into one) started today, and I also have about 4-5 hours of classes today (too lazy to count). I'm
On a random note: When I got back from taking a shower I read up on the news (yes, in my bathrobe), and apparently this elementary school gave these kids pornographic prizes (unknowingly). Supposedly there were some naked woman underneath some bracelets they were giving out (it was in Florida). Anyways, if you're interesting in reading up more on this story click here for the link.
I have class in about an hour and 15 minutes, so I should do some studying (time is of the essence! *breaks down in tears*)
Updated - 10:50 AM
Just got back from class, and it's a nice rainy day :) Many people think of such days as depressing, but for me they are great because the air is so much fresher. Hoping I get my test back in the Woman Inequality in the Workplace class.
It was weird when I took this test (the midterm). About 5 minutes in, this older woman in the class stood up and walked out of the room crying. The next day she asked me how I (and a few of the other students there) did on the test. I said "I think it did okay on it" and she was like "good for you" (sarcastically). I actually believe I did very well on it, but I didn't want to rub it in her face.
Going to grab some food from the dining hall now and come back to my dorm to do some studying before class...
Update - 1:44 PM
Just got back from the woman's equality class. The teacher wasn't there today, so we watched this very grainy and overall just crappy video (sound and graphics wise) video about sexual harrasment at the workplace. Fairly uneventful, other than the fact that we got done very early, so I had tie to go back to my dorm to relax before Bio Ethics. It's very rainy out, so I got soaked while walking around. It's weird seeing all these kids wearing red scarfs around their heads and attacking each other with Nerf guns. They have been doing this for well over a week, and they are everywhere! Sometimes I see a group of 10 of them walking in my direction and a small part of me thinks they are going to start shooting at me...such a violent world we live in.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Falling asleep at the wheel (the habit of mindlessness)
When we fall asleep at the wheel of a car, typically the result isn't very good (unless the car isn't moving). I believe the same is true for life in general. We are asleep (unconscious) when we aren't aware of the present moment. And when this happens, our brain relies more and more on autopilot, and is forced to phase out its reliance on us (the soul). Most people live in that semi-conscious state where they mindlessly (or more specifically, soullessly) live their lives. Mindfulness is the awake state of being; but when not being mindful of the present moment, our brains get into a foggy, autopilot mode often accompanied with daydreams (some based on the past, future, worries, etc).
At least this is what I notice from my own experience. It's as if the soul doesn't like to deal with experience that it doesn't want to deal with, so it retreats into its shell of unconsciousness as a defense mechanism. The point here is to carry mindfulness wherever you go, don't let your brain adapt to unconsciousness. In other words, don't let mindlessness become a habit. This has happened with me, but in time I notice (with great effort) myself awakening. I've been practicing mindfulness (and meditation when I can) for a few years now, and I still feel as if I'm never fully awake (but I do notice improvement).
At least this is what I notice from my own experience. It's as if the soul doesn't like to deal with experience that it doesn't want to deal with, so it retreats into its shell of unconsciousness as a defense mechanism. The point here is to carry mindfulness wherever you go, don't let your brain adapt to unconsciousness. In other words, don't let mindlessness become a habit. This has happened with me, but in time I notice (with great effort) myself awakening. I've been practicing mindfulness (and meditation when I can) for a few years now, and I still feel as if I'm never fully awake (but I do notice improvement).
Mindfulness changes the perception of emotion and allows for the domination of emotion
One thing that mindfulness has shown me is that there are two lenses in which we can view an emotional state.
1) Emotional/internalizing lens
2) Logical/external lens
The emotional lens is utilized when you internalize an emotion like anger, and perceive it as what your being is. When this occurs, the brain automatically tries to understand why. It's as if the brain runs with the logic "I'm angry, now I need to understand the cause of this by cherry-picking information to explain it". I'm sure most people have experienced this. For example, when I feel depressed, I notice my brain automatically seeks to find the negative thoughts and perceptions (past/future/and present) so that my "feelings" and thoughts are in unison. I imagine this is fairly common for the vast majority, but at the same time this sort of process can and often does reinforce painful states of being.
The logical lens (created by utilizing mindfulness) is when emotion is viewed as it actually is (physical feelings) along with viewing the thoughts from the "outside" (thus not internalizing them, and not getting emotionally involved with "feelings"). Mindfulness allows the viewing of emotions and emotional thoughts in a logical way. Thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings, nothing more or less (correct labeling is obviously more accurate, and so much emotional pain can be caused by cognitive distortions).
When you feel an unwanted emotion such as anger, think the following things (it can apply to any emotion, just take out the word 'anger' and replace it with the appropriate word).
"I am experiencing the sensations of anger, it is impossible to be angry in the same way that it is impossible to be any other action" (there is a big difference between being and action, beings exist, actions are behaviors...avoid improper labeling).
"This is what anger feels like" (try to be aware of what being angry feels like, be mindful of your thoughts and sensations, view them as they are in a logical way).
"This anger is merely a signal my brain is giving me to be mindful"
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave a comment :)
1) Emotional/internalizing lens
2) Logical/external lens
The emotional lens is utilized when you internalize an emotion like anger, and perceive it as what your being is. When this occurs, the brain automatically tries to understand why. It's as if the brain runs with the logic "I'm angry, now I need to understand the cause of this by cherry-picking information to explain it". I'm sure most people have experienced this. For example, when I feel depressed, I notice my brain automatically seeks to find the negative thoughts and perceptions (past/future/and present) so that my "feelings" and thoughts are in unison. I imagine this is fairly common for the vast majority, but at the same time this sort of process can and often does reinforce painful states of being.
The logical lens (created by utilizing mindfulness) is when emotion is viewed as it actually is (physical feelings) along with viewing the thoughts from the "outside" (thus not internalizing them, and not getting emotionally involved with "feelings"). Mindfulness allows the viewing of emotions and emotional thoughts in a logical way. Thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings, nothing more or less (correct labeling is obviously more accurate, and so much emotional pain can be caused by cognitive distortions).
When you feel an unwanted emotion such as anger, think the following things (it can apply to any emotion, just take out the word 'anger' and replace it with the appropriate word).
"I am experiencing the sensations of anger, it is impossible to be angry in the same way that it is impossible to be any other action" (there is a big difference between being and action, beings exist, actions are behaviors...avoid improper labeling).
"This is what anger feels like" (try to be aware of what being angry feels like, be mindful of your thoughts and sensations, view them as they are in a logical way).
"This anger is merely a signal my brain is giving me to be mindful"
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave a comment :)
Introverts are more honest than extroverts?
In one of the newer TED talks (click for video), a speaker named Pamela Meyer made an interesting claim that extroverts are more likely to lie than introverts. The problem with her lecture was that she provided no explanation for why. I agree with her, and I believe the reason extroverts are more likely to lie is because they exchange information for the sake of pleasure (they communicate in a way that maximizes pleasure). On the other hand, an introvert tend to exchange information for the sake of its accuracy and usefulness (which is why introverts are more honest, they value the information, not the feelings associated with communication). Introverts tend to dislike small-talk, which consumes the vast majority of extroverts communication. Extroverts could mindlessly babble on about anything all day long (nothing wrong with that, I suppose). And being that the primary objective of an extrovert in communication is to "feel good" they will bend the truth to accommodate this goal.
In short, it tends to be that introverts value accuracy of information, extroverts value the way information makes them feel. Obviously there is a spectrum here, most people find themselves somewhere around the middle. I find myself leaning towards the introvert side more than most people, but I do engage in some small-talk once in a while (albeit often awkwardly).
Daily blog: 10/19/11
Not much has happened so far today which is noteworthy. Have french class in about 15 minutes. I'll update as the day goes on :)
Updated - 10:03 AM
Just got back from french class, she started us on doing some new thing with Etre (how to speak of something in the past). And we have a test on that and avoir, but I think I'll do alright on it. I got a 91 on our first test. It's weird that the teacher seems to always assume I know what I'm doing in class. When we broke up into groups, she went around checking everyone and told me "you understand this, right?"..I replied "yes"...and she didn't even check my paper (we were suppose to be writing sentences, which I was ..more-or-less). While leaving class and heading back to my dorm there was this bus with a bunch of children (probably about the age of 5 or so) getting off. I wonder why they would be taking them on a field trip to the University campus....unless they are just super advanced and/or have pituitary problems. Anyways, back to studying! (going to be reading this book about how this scholarly woman did this experiment where she attempted to make a living off a low wage to see how difficult it was).
Updated - 3:10 PM
Busy studying, highlighting parts in the book for a paper I need to write, etc. What was annoying is that the person in the dorm near mine was playing drums; I put on my Remington noise-canceling ear muffs, but the noise still got through (was a little bit quieter however). Then later someone knocked on my door (I don't really know anyone that well on my floor due to being super busy and an introvert to boot), I just ignored it because I didn't feel like/have time for getting into a conversation, and I hate being asked to do things when I'm busy--which is typically always (people tire me out, so I need to spend time just being away from people to unwind/recharge between classes, etc).
The one thing I like about being busy is that it gives me less time to worry, and thus my anxiety is not as bad. Which is a good tip for anyone with anxiety problems--keep your mind busy on other things!
Anyways, back to work :)
Updated - 4:20 PM
After studying for awhile, I got some food. One thing I thought to pick up was some Greek Yogurt (I like the taste/texture much more than normal yogurt, and it is supposedly healthier). I have class at 6:30, so I should now take a nap. As I'm writing this now, that annoying kid from across the hall is playing his music (he blasts music and leaves his door open so everyone can hear it). Aren't some people precious. By the way, I suggest to anyone that has to do a lot of mental work (such as studying), take a lot of little catnaps (like 20-30 minutes long) throughout the day, it's very refreshing (clears up the brain-fog and fatigue like a charm) :)
Updated - 9:05 PM
Just got back from a class that goes from 6:30-8:45. Before heading back to my dorm I picked up a wrap from the dining hall. The class went well, I feel like I absorbed the information well and took good notes (the class is Sociology of Social Services). This teacher gives tough tests, and if you don't take notes very well and have a good memory, you get your ass kicked hard by them (plus they are about 30% of the final grade). This teacher is also my adviser, I signed up to be advised for class registration for next week at 6:00 PM, but I later changed it. What happened was that he mentioned that class would get moved back to 7:00 PM, so I thought that perhaps he wouldn't be able to make the appointment. I went up to him, and he automatically knew why and told me to change my time to 5:40 PM. I filled in the wrong date, and had to go back right after to fix it (woops, lol). All this information is probably only interesting to me :P
That's about it for now, just blogging (obviously) and eating my wrap.
Updated - 10:03 AM
Just got back from french class, she started us on doing some new thing with Etre (how to speak of something in the past). And we have a test on that and avoir, but I think I'll do alright on it. I got a 91 on our first test. It's weird that the teacher seems to always assume I know what I'm doing in class. When we broke up into groups, she went around checking everyone and told me "you understand this, right?"..I replied "yes"...and she didn't even check my paper (we were suppose to be writing sentences, which I was ..more-or-less). While leaving class and heading back to my dorm there was this bus with a bunch of children (probably about the age of 5 or so) getting off. I wonder why they would be taking them on a field trip to the University campus....unless they are just super advanced and/or have pituitary problems. Anyways, back to studying! (going to be reading this book about how this scholarly woman did this experiment where she attempted to make a living off a low wage to see how difficult it was).
Updated - 3:10 PM
Busy studying, highlighting parts in the book for a paper I need to write, etc. What was annoying is that the person in the dorm near mine was playing drums; I put on my Remington noise-canceling ear muffs, but the noise still got through (was a little bit quieter however). Then later someone knocked on my door (I don't really know anyone that well on my floor due to being super busy and an introvert to boot), I just ignored it because I didn't feel like/have time for getting into a conversation, and I hate being asked to do things when I'm busy--which is typically always (people tire me out, so I need to spend time just being away from people to unwind/recharge between classes, etc).
The one thing I like about being busy is that it gives me less time to worry, and thus my anxiety is not as bad. Which is a good tip for anyone with anxiety problems--keep your mind busy on other things!
Anyways, back to work :)
Updated - 4:20 PM
After studying for awhile, I got some food. One thing I thought to pick up was some Greek Yogurt (I like the taste/texture much more than normal yogurt, and it is supposedly healthier). I have class at 6:30, so I should now take a nap. As I'm writing this now, that annoying kid from across the hall is playing his music (he blasts music and leaves his door open so everyone can hear it). Aren't some people precious. By the way, I suggest to anyone that has to do a lot of mental work (such as studying), take a lot of little catnaps (like 20-30 minutes long) throughout the day, it's very refreshing (clears up the brain-fog and fatigue like a charm) :)
Updated - 9:05 PM
Just got back from a class that goes from 6:30-8:45. Before heading back to my dorm I picked up a wrap from the dining hall. The class went well, I feel like I absorbed the information well and took good notes (the class is Sociology of Social Services). This teacher gives tough tests, and if you don't take notes very well and have a good memory, you get your ass kicked hard by them (plus they are about 30% of the final grade). This teacher is also my adviser, I signed up to be advised for class registration for next week at 6:00 PM, but I later changed it. What happened was that he mentioned that class would get moved back to 7:00 PM, so I thought that perhaps he wouldn't be able to make the appointment. I went up to him, and he automatically knew why and told me to change my time to 5:40 PM. I filled in the wrong date, and had to go back right after to fix it (woops, lol). All this information is probably only interesting to me :P
That's about it for now, just blogging (obviously) and eating my wrap.
Is everyone crazy? (mental illness and lack of mindfulness)
I've been doing some studying on mental illness (have taken classes on it and am taking one now, plus I have looked up a lot of stuff using Google :P ). And it seems to me that a lot of mental illness is caused by thoughts. It appears that stress-inducing thoughts are bar far the biggest cause of mental illness (aside from being human). And what is the cause of stressful thinking? Lack of awareness (at least in my opinion). When I am aware of my thoughts, and more importantly, aware of the fact that my thoughts are thoughts, they don't cause me stress (like realizing a nightmare was just a dream).
I believe that being in a state of awareness of the present moment (of our senses more specifically) is the intended default mode; but we have been bombarded with nonsense from TV and the internet, plus have been taught to see the world through the imagination in school (they teach you to see history through such a lens, for example). Most people today see the world through their imagination, they are constantly thinking about things that have happened or "will happen" (most people can't predict the future that accurately). I'm not much better (it's hard to stay in a state of mindfulness for an entire day), but I realize that mindfulness causes a shift away from being consumed with the imagination to a more accurate one (the imagination can distort our perception of reality).
I believe people that have thoughts constantly streaming through their heads, not being focused on the present moment, have a form of mental illness that is more common than not in today's world (given how hectic it is, people have adopted this sort of thinking, I believe, as a coping strategy). I'm obviously included in this bunch, but I'm also trying to shift myself out of it. I'm hoping that in time I can make mindfulness the default mode, instead of worrying (I notice that when I'm doing nothing my mind automatically starts worrying).
On a heavy end of the spectrum of this are anxiety disorders and depression (caused by a high volume of stress-inducing thoughts). I hope in time, people wake up from the daymares (like daydreaming) caused our imagination by realizing that it's not real (our brains are not really time machines going into the past or crystal balls looking into the future).
I still struggle with the process of trying to wake up, but I'm getting better in time.
I believe that being in a state of awareness of the present moment (of our senses more specifically) is the intended default mode; but we have been bombarded with nonsense from TV and the internet, plus have been taught to see the world through the imagination in school (they teach you to see history through such a lens, for example). Most people today see the world through their imagination, they are constantly thinking about things that have happened or "will happen" (most people can't predict the future that accurately). I'm not much better (it's hard to stay in a state of mindfulness for an entire day), but I realize that mindfulness causes a shift away from being consumed with the imagination to a more accurate one (the imagination can distort our perception of reality).
I believe people that have thoughts constantly streaming through their heads, not being focused on the present moment, have a form of mental illness that is more common than not in today's world (given how hectic it is, people have adopted this sort of thinking, I believe, as a coping strategy). I'm obviously included in this bunch, but I'm also trying to shift myself out of it. I'm hoping that in time I can make mindfulness the default mode, instead of worrying (I notice that when I'm doing nothing my mind automatically starts worrying).
On a heavy end of the spectrum of this are anxiety disorders and depression (caused by a high volume of stress-inducing thoughts). I hope in time, people wake up from the daymares (like daydreaming) caused our imagination by realizing that it's not real (our brains are not really time machines going into the past or crystal balls looking into the future).
I still struggle with the process of trying to wake up, but I'm getting better in time.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Daily blog: 10/18/11 - awkward porn in class and fire alarms.
Today was an interesting day at the University. I had a class at 9:30 (Sociology of Mental Illness), it was fairly uneventful. But I did notice that my anxiety (or stress) levels were abnormally high this day. I think it might have to do with the drinking I did over the weekend and/or with a few of my other habits (like listening to intense music that gets my adrenaline pumping).
Random thinking: Part of me thinks that I'm addicted to stress hormones, and this underlying addiction causes me to think in a way that causes a stress response. Because when I'm bored, feeling restless, I just want to listen to some intense music or watch an intense, adrenaline pumping movie. But maybe this is just my unconscious attempt to maintain the state I am most used to, being stressed.
After class I always (almost) head back to my dorm to unwind. I'm an introvert, and I need my alone time to unwind. Sadly, the fire alarm was going off, and I couldn't enter the building. The people that I talked with outside seemed to think that it was a drill. Being that I more or less have social anxiety (I don't like to think of it as a disorder, it's fairly orderly), but I've gotten into the habit of focusing on my breathing when I feel anxiety coming on—it seems to be fairly effective at calming my symptoms once I start doing it for a few moments. Anyways, after a few minutes, it stopped and I went to my dorm.
My girlfriend messaged me on Facebook.
Background into my relationship: My relationship is extremely long-distant (in that she lives on the other side of the world). She is from the Philippines, and while this arrangement isn't ideal (her being so far away) it has been working well for the past year (aside from a few little hiccups). But I'll get more into the relationship later down the road in future posts.
After eating lunch (I had a wrap from the campus dining hall in my dorm), I soon had my next class: Gender Inequality in the Workplace. It's only me and this other guy in this class, which is awkward on normal days, but today was especially awkward. This girl did a presentation about sexual harassment in the workplace, and brought in porn magazines as a prop. Later, while the teacher was doing her lecture on the topic of sexual harassment, she pulled out one of the magazines, and it had a woman with her breasts exposed on the front cover. It seemed that it was me and the other guy that felt the most awkward here (I tried to look as if I didn't enjoy seeing it by not looking and putting on just the right face, and the other guy just looked down at the table), the girls just laughed.
I found this to be ironic because feminists always talk about equality, but if this were a class with a male teacher, and he pulled out a porn magazine (male or female on the cover), this would have been considered highly inappropriate (and charges of sexual harassment may have been filed).
Oh, and apparently (finding out with late notice), we have a paper/class presentation on a book I've barely started reading due in 1 week, yikes. Anyways...
I had another class after this one, but nothing interesting happened. During this class, because it is so easy and boring, I practiced mindfulness of breathing.
When I got back to my dorm I was exhausted, so I took a nap. I brought a few beers to college with me to see if that drinking a couple a day would help me relax, doesn't appear to be helping (I drank those beers before the nap).
We later had another fire drill. After it, I was becoming painfully aware that my levels of stress were not very good. So I started reflecting and came to the conclusion that I need to both be more optimistic with my thinking and be more aware in general of my thoughts. When I don't pay much attention to my thoughts it seems that negativity runs rampant. That is why I started this blog, I'm hoping that it keeps my mind more focused on mindfulness and pushing optimism.
Random thinking: Part of me thinks that I'm addicted to stress hormones, and this underlying addiction causes me to think in a way that causes a stress response. Because when I'm bored, feeling restless, I just want to listen to some intense music or watch an intense, adrenaline pumping movie. But maybe this is just my unconscious attempt to maintain the state I am most used to, being stressed.
After class I always (almost) head back to my dorm to unwind. I'm an introvert, and I need my alone time to unwind. Sadly, the fire alarm was going off, and I couldn't enter the building. The people that I talked with outside seemed to think that it was a drill. Being that I more or less have social anxiety (I don't like to think of it as a disorder, it's fairly orderly), but I've gotten into the habit of focusing on my breathing when I feel anxiety coming on—it seems to be fairly effective at calming my symptoms once I start doing it for a few moments. Anyways, after a few minutes, it stopped and I went to my dorm.
My girlfriend messaged me on Facebook.
Background into my relationship: My relationship is extremely long-distant (in that she lives on the other side of the world). She is from the Philippines, and while this arrangement isn't ideal (her being so far away) it has been working well for the past year (aside from a few little hiccups). But I'll get more into the relationship later down the road in future posts.
After eating lunch (I had a wrap from the campus dining hall in my dorm), I soon had my next class: Gender Inequality in the Workplace. It's only me and this other guy in this class, which is awkward on normal days, but today was especially awkward. This girl did a presentation about sexual harassment in the workplace, and brought in porn magazines as a prop. Later, while the teacher was doing her lecture on the topic of sexual harassment, she pulled out one of the magazines, and it had a woman with her breasts exposed on the front cover. It seemed that it was me and the other guy that felt the most awkward here (I tried to look as if I didn't enjoy seeing it by not looking and putting on just the right face, and the other guy just looked down at the table), the girls just laughed.
I found this to be ironic because feminists always talk about equality, but if this were a class with a male teacher, and he pulled out a porn magazine (male or female on the cover), this would have been considered highly inappropriate (and charges of sexual harassment may have been filed).
Oh, and apparently (finding out with late notice), we have a paper/class presentation on a book I've barely started reading due in 1 week, yikes. Anyways...
I had another class after this one, but nothing interesting happened. During this class, because it is so easy and boring, I practiced mindfulness of breathing.
When I got back to my dorm I was exhausted, so I took a nap. I brought a few beers to college with me to see if that drinking a couple a day would help me relax, doesn't appear to be helping (I drank those beers before the nap).
We later had another fire drill. After it, I was becoming painfully aware that my levels of stress were not very good. So I started reflecting and came to the conclusion that I need to both be more optimistic with my thinking and be more aware in general of my thoughts. When I don't pay much attention to my thoughts it seems that negativity runs rampant. That is why I started this blog, I'm hoping that it keeps my mind more focused on mindfulness and pushing optimism.
my nature...
By nature I am an unconscious pessimist, and I believe both feed into each other (that being unconscious creates pessimism [looking for problems/threats in everything] and vice versa). And when I use the word 'unconscious', this means living life with a lack of awareness (autopilot). After taking a class on self-help, I learned about mindfulness. I started utilizing the technique more and more. I loved the way mindfulness gave me new insights about myself, and it was also a much more relaxed way of being (I was, for as long as I can remember, an anxious person).
Sadly, my family life became very tumultuous soon after (it always was, but became much much worse), and my spirit withdrew back into its shell. I may talk about this period of my life sometime in future blog posts, but I prefer to not dwell on those negative experiences. Now when a thought of the past comes about (primarily when it evokes negative emotions), I tell myself that it's "just a thought, it's nothing more or less". And this sort of thinking is a product of my mindfulness, which I have brought back over the last few years, and it has given me some useful insights.
Tip: Recognize a thought when it comes about as it is—a thought. If you correctly label a thought, like correctly labeling a nightmare as a dream, it loses its emotional punch.
My life has been filled with many problems both external and internal—ranging from bullies to domestic abuse and from alcohol abuse to anxiety disorders. And while these problems have occurred, and some of which still haunt me in some form to this day, I see through them with a mindful optimism. I believe that positive thinking and awareness are the keys to overcoming personal demons, and I want this blog to be both a combination of my journey and the insight I have gained throughout.
Sadly, my family life became very tumultuous soon after (it always was, but became much much worse), and my spirit withdrew back into its shell. I may talk about this period of my life sometime in future blog posts, but I prefer to not dwell on those negative experiences. Now when a thought of the past comes about (primarily when it evokes negative emotions), I tell myself that it's "just a thought, it's nothing more or less". And this sort of thinking is a product of my mindfulness, which I have brought back over the last few years, and it has given me some useful insights.
Tip: Recognize a thought when it comes about as it is—a thought. If you correctly label a thought, like correctly labeling a nightmare as a dream, it loses its emotional punch.
My life has been filled with many problems both external and internal—ranging from bullies to domestic abuse and from alcohol abuse to anxiety disorders. And while these problems have occurred, and some of which still haunt me in some form to this day, I see through them with a mindful optimism. I believe that positive thinking and awareness are the keys to overcoming personal demons, and I want this blog to be both a combination of my journey and the insight I have gained throughout.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
If God was real, life would somehow have meaning?
Christians (or other similar believers) believe that without God, life is meaningless. In other words, atheists have a shitty existence that is devoid of meaning because we don't believe we are created in the image of a sociopathic attention-whore (I'm not sure if they would word it exactly like that). But what kind of meaning is that? To believe that the only meaning is found in 1). believing in an invisible being that can't be proven to exist 2). worship it and 3). obey its laws (i.e. obey whatever you believe it wants you to do). And of course the cherry on the sundae is that God has an infinite love for everyone, even those He casts into hell and/or punishes with AIDs *rolls eyes*
...and with all this meaningful existing that Christians believe they are involved in, it is the atheists that are left out!
[What's funny are those goofy atheists that wishes God was real, but are just slightly too logical to believe but not logical enough to realize that such a thing would make existence much worse (for obvious reasons like hell and having to worship an invisible attention whore for all of eternity). I guess these atheists are between a rock and a hard place.]
The point here is that I fail to understand how God somehow makes life meaningful. Being an objectified pawn is not very meaningful in my book. No, atheism doesn't hand people false-hope for a crappy afterlife (as already mentioned) or some "divine purpose" (to feed God's ego), but isn't it important for people to come to conclusions about purpose/meaning on their own? I suppose a Christian would see meaning in such a worldview (as an atheist I obviously don't). But I believe that to leave questions of meaning untouched detracts from a meaningful existence more than anything. An atheist can find meaning in life merely by being open to think about meaning. If your brain automatically concludes "God", then it shuts itself off to thinking about the meaning of life.
So if you're a Christian, and feel as if life is meaningless, try seeing the world as if the atheist's view is correct. The conclusions you will come to will be very different (and probably much more thought-out).
...and with all this meaningful existing that Christians believe they are involved in, it is the atheists that are left out!
[What's funny are those goofy atheists that wishes God was real, but are just slightly too logical to believe but not logical enough to realize that such a thing would make existence much worse (for obvious reasons like hell and having to worship an invisible attention whore for all of eternity). I guess these atheists are between a rock and a hard place.]
The point here is that I fail to understand how God somehow makes life meaningful. Being an objectified pawn is not very meaningful in my book. No, atheism doesn't hand people false-hope for a crappy afterlife (as already mentioned) or some "divine purpose" (to feed God's ego), but isn't it important for people to come to conclusions about purpose/meaning on their own? I suppose a Christian would see meaning in such a worldview (as an atheist I obviously don't). But I believe that to leave questions of meaning untouched detracts from a meaningful existence more than anything. An atheist can find meaning in life merely by being open to think about meaning. If your brain automatically concludes "God", then it shuts itself off to thinking about the meaning of life.
So if you're a Christian, and feel as if life is meaningless, try seeing the world as if the atheist's view is correct. The conclusions you will come to will be very different (and probably much more thought-out).
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Are any Christians completely void of skepticism?
I remember having skepticism as soon as I started being indoctrinated, and that was when I was in grade school (before I knew anything about evolution, or any other alternative views). One of my earliest memories of skepticism was when we were told to draw a picture of God in Sunday School. I drew an old looking man with a grey beard, and thought "this looks a lot like Santa Claus" and then I thought "how can I know this is what God looks like, I've never seen him". Then I asked the teacher "what does God look like", and she said "no body knows". I then remember just being overwhelmed with skepticism/doubt (for the obvious, logical reasons).
I wonder if any Christians go through life have no skepticism of their religion. Obviously Christianity frowns upon skepticism (a protective mechanism of the belief system), but it seems hard to believe that all true-Christians don't seriously doubt their faith from time-to-time.
I believe most Christians are closeted atheists that hope they are wrong.
I wonder if any Christians go through life have no skepticism of their religion. Obviously Christianity frowns upon skepticism (a protective mechanism of the belief system), but it seems hard to believe that all true-Christians don't seriously doubt their faith from time-to-time.
I believe most Christians are closeted atheists that hope they are wrong.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Argument about atheism on a bathroom stall
So I went to the bathroom (I live in a dorm), and I noticed this conversation on the bathroom stall. Someone wrote some quote about how life without God is pointless...then the atheist wrote something like "the only thing God gives is false hope"....then the Christian tried to cross it out....etc. etc.
The point here is, aren't some people precious? Arguing about religion on a bathroom stall like it's an online chat room....
It was funny because the atheist had some witty comments, and the Christian didn't exceed expectations (to put it nicely).
Anyways, I've been neglecting this atheist-centered blog because I've been sort of uninspired/unmotivated. What I might do is make this blog more centered on me giving my opinions on news related to religion and/or atheism, but I'm not really sure.
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