Daydream Addiction and Derealization/Depersonalization

While daydreaming isn't generally recognized as being something that can be addictive. It certainly can be, and many people are addicted to daydreaming. People daydream for a few reasons...

-To plan (typically a useful application)

-To feel good (a possibly negative application)

-To escape reality (a possibly negative application)

When we daydream, the awareness of our senses becomes greatly diminished. The weird thing about awareness is that we aren't aware of what we aren't aware of. When we lose the awareness of our sight--for example--we aren't aware of it. Fortunately, the brain still stores the information coming into the eyes (in a limited, unfocused way...because the eyes are either focused on physical objects or not, here the brain "fills in" the perceptual gaps). 

The reason reality (the self is part of our reality) doesn't seem real is because it isn't. The senses have gotten into the habit of ignoring (i.e. to escape reality) so much that the brain is in overdrive to "fill in the gaps". On a certain level, the brain is aware of the fact that much of the reality it is attempting to form is imaginary, thus causing the feelings of derealization. Derealization can be a very scary thing, and in order to cope, daydreaming can be used (again, as an escape).

Daydreaming can feel very good, a person can put together a story line that makes them feel a wide variety of emotions and psuedo-perceptions. It is the fact that it can feel very good and be used as an escape that creates the possibility of it being an addictive behavior. 

Daydreaming itself is a cause of derealization. In fact, it is the ultimate state of derealization. The best thing to do if you find yourself here is to stop daydreaming. The next best thing is to reduce it dramatically. Either way, the opposite of daydreaming is mindfulness. Use the search bar on this blog to look up some of my writings about mindfulness or even Google it. 

I like to keep my blogs posts short and sweet, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. 

Better to think of anxiety as a habit, not a mental disorder (which can make the problem worse)

We have been told over and over again that chronic anxiety is a mental disorder, and while there is a certain about of "disorder" in the mind that causes anxiety, this sort of label misses the underlying cause of anxiety and does nothing but put a sufferer down.

In reality, anxiety is caused by certain thinking habits. And when people get so entrenched in emotionally-charged thinking that the symptoms cause an "unbearable" amount of suffering, we (medically) put them on medication and put them through talk-therapy (which isn't totally a bad thing, but I find talk-therapy to not properly get at the heart of anxiety). Anxiety is caused by thinking patterns that occur because of a perceived environmental threat, and if the symptoms get bad enough, the anxiety attaches itself to these sensations, causing the person to worry about their own heath (causing a further perpetuation of anxiety). Anxiety is a bad perceptual habit. What do I mean by this? Well, we can view the symptoms of anxiety (such as sweating, heart racing, tense feeling in chest and throat, sweaty hands, etc) differently, and while doing so, disarming the viewing of these things as being a threat. One of the best ways of doing this is to stop viewing anxiety as a problem. In fact, stop viewing everything as a problem, nothing is a problem, and just become aware of the cause of the symptoms.

Becoming aware of the thought process allows us to view it objectively, and while viewing a thought objectively, it is viewed with a more rational lens. In the same way that if we know we are dreaming during a nightmare, it becomes much less scary, if we become aware that a thought is just a thought, it loses its emotional punch. I've brought this basic idea up in a few other blog posts, but it is very important to overcoming anxiety. Mindfulness in general is what is important in overcoming behavioral problems (which is what anxiety is). To put it simply, our brains functions in two modes: "objective/logical and emotional/reflex". Anxiety exists in the reflexive emotional part of the brain. You see, the point of emotion is largely to allow people to make quick decisions without having to think everything out (such as when people get a "gut feeling"). If you are in your head a lot, and everything seems fuzzy and worry thoughts constantly stream through your head, your brain is engaged in a way that will cause perpetual anxiety and stress in general.

My anxiety used to be horrible (I had bad generalized anxiety and social anxiety, which led to some nasty depression), but I started to realize these two-modes of operation in the brain. To show you what I mean, try this little experiment.

1) Find a particular point around you to stare at (like a dot, or a fixed point that is easy to concentrate
on).

2) Keep concentrating on the dot, whenever your attention drifts (as it will) just bring it back to concentrating

3) Do this for at least 10 minutes (it's best to use an alarm, try not to worry about the amount of time that has passed, because this is distracting)

4) After 10 minutes or so, begin to scan all the objects around you. Look at them with purpose, don't just label them an look through them.

If you do this, you should notice some interesting effects. This is how the brain is suppose to function, this mode is the mode the brain is engaged in when it is relaxed. Chronic worrying causes the brain to have a shift to utilize parts of the brain associated with worrying. This leads to a reduced awareness of the senses, leading to depersonalization and derealization (which is why mindfulness is so damn important for overcoming anxiety).

Derealization (Disassociation and Depersonalization) and Anxiety

From my experience as a major anxiety sufferer, disassociation and depersonalization have been major problems in of themselves. I believe most people have experienced these things at some point in their lives, but if you haven't, you probably wont be able to understand it.

For me, I would describe derealization as coming on in attacks (like a panic attack). Like, it comes on all at once, and everything seems very confusing and unreal. I remember this one time in school... just sitting in the class room, and bam! (a derealization attack hit). This event happened early on in high school. If you have a real derealization attacks, it is one of the weirdest things you will ever experience. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like the soul completely (or almost) disconnects from its life. You can still observe things, but it has an incredible simplicity of focus, and nothing seems real (not even yourself).

Here, I'll just list the symptoms of a derealization attack:

-Intense mental fog
-Feeling disconnected
-Everything seems dream-like.
-Cognitive ability/control severely diminishes.
-Paranoia
-Euphoria
-Perceptual changes (you see both the world and self very differently).
-Fear of going insane/losing control.

Sounds like fun right? Probably not, lol. It can actually be one of the scariest experiences a person can have. But, it doesn't need to be scary. If we are able to recognize it when it comes, and be aware that it isn't permanent, it can be mind-expanding to an extent (although I wouldn't recommend it). The best thing to do is to not be afraid of derealization—if anxiety is the cause of the derealization, than being fearful of it will only exasperate it.

I've found the best cure for derealization is mindfulness. It seems to greatly help both anxiety and derealization. If you don't know what mindfulness is, basically it is a strong focus on the senses which leads to a stronger awareness of the self (which consequently reduces worrying thoughts, which typically is the cause of anxiety). Mindfulness can pull an anxious person out of the gutter (i.e. their imagination). If you're worried about things that are real, be mindful, all that is real can be seen there. Thoughts are thoughts, nothing more, nothing less—stop believing that your daydreams/dayterrors are real—they are just thoughts, focus on reality.